Excerpted from One Year to Live: Memoirs of an Octopus

Chapter 11: Alien Abduction

It was a fine summers day. Water was a bit warm, but certainly fine for an all-day nap. After a long night of searching for crabs, sleep was certainly welcome. I stretched my arms, blew some water out of my siphon, and settled in for a nice long sleep. There appeared to be no need to plug the hole to my den with rocks or shells today, and so much work carrying all those rocks around. Besides, this seemed to be a pretty safe den. Unlike the last place with all the free loading mantis shrimps, disgustingly foul spider crabs (do they ever wash?), and male prostitute toadfish, constantly calling to females, all day and night. This place was much better and, after evicting a sponge or two, rather spacious.

My only real concern was an incident a few weeks ago when I was disturbed from a deep slumber (and finally with a dream that did not include a moray!) by a strange stick shoved into my den from the outside. I grabbed on to it to see what it was, but it was pulled out of my tentacles rather roughly. Outside were a couple of large alien creatures, blowing bubbles and looking at me through inquisitively through some strange clear masks. If they weren't so big, I would have stepped outside to check them out, but I thought it would be best to stay inside. After a few more pokes, they were gone, swimming away using large yellow fins. I fell back to sleep and when I woke up, convinced myself my strange encounter with these alien creatures was just a very vivid dream, and continued about my business of piling rocks next to the den and finding some tasty crabs.

Today, as I settled back into a deep slumber, the nagging sensation that my experience was not a dream was still there, but I shrugged it off, curled up my tentacles, and went to sleep. Suddenly, I was awoken out of a deep dream of catching a catching a giant clawless king crab, by the same stick pushed into my den, but this time much harder. Instinctively, I tried to jet away, but was stopped by some strange material with holes in it. Just barely awake, I watched in horror as my den slipped from view and I was transported to the surface and taken out of the water. Ahead of my was a large ship, floating above the water, with one of the strange alien creatures reaching out its tentacle at me. This creature examined me, hanging denless out of the water, made some approving grunts while showing its strange, white, multi-section beak, and dropped me in a container of water. Then, the other creatures got back on board, and within minutes, we were moving. I wept for the loss of my den, and cowered in fear for what might lie ahead.

After a short trip, I was again trapped in the strange material with holes, lifted from the water and placed in a glass prison filled with water. I was given a lousy little den, and then left alone while the strange alien creatures moved away. I have an uneasy feeling that there might be an anal probe in my future. Until then, where will I find food (already I could eat a whole crab)? What will happen to me when the aliens grow tired of me? Where will I find a mate? Will I ever see my den again? Why does the strange-looking, hairy-faced alien creature keep looking at me like it wants to eat me?

Continued in "One Year to Live: Memoirs of an Octopus"